DHS open house. I remember vivienne sms'd me, asking me if i was going. Then i asked my mum. She said no, cause she doesnt like dhs :/ and she was kinda confident that i would go rgs/nygh

i got into kpop. kind of a wrong time to get into the fandom cos yea, it affected my results ._. i was spending a lot of time going crazy and playing :/ but for the first time, i felt sick and tired of studying.

we got back our results. okay at first i was kinda happy cos mr tan said the whole level passed. and i was still talking a lot with cheryl, clarissa, vivienne. then we went to class to get our results. first ms lam wrote names of ppl who scored like 263 and above. ms lam wrote "xin..." then viv grabbed my arm, my heart stopped for a moment, then it turned out to be xinjie. (actually quite a lot of ppl guessed my name :/) mdm koh and ms lam checked the list and they said "ah very close..."so i thought i got like 260 liddat. it was my turn to get my results slip. ms lam smiled and shook my hand and said something like "good job, you've gotten 4A*" (btw, 5A* in my sch means the four subjects A* and hcl distinction) so i heard the 4A* and i thought my marks were okay. then i saw my marks. 257. 260 if you add hcl. i cried. i felt like i had disappointed the whole world. aft dismissal my mum just held my hand and walked to the car park and drove home. i went straight to my room and cried for quite a while. then my mum came upstairs to comfort me for a while. after i finally stopped crying i just spent the whole afternoon watching tv, skipping lunch. in the evening my mum was like listing down the best few schools i could go with my marks. all i rmb is first choice nygh, second choice dhs. i went downstairs to use the com. aft i signed in to msn, some of my friends, even some boys, asked me if i was okay. i was really touched.

I was walking to 1e classroom. in my head i was like 'please let there be a tns student please let there be a tns student' that line kept going through my head while walking to class. then i saw chianhao. i got a bit -__-" so i looked through the whole class trying to find an empty seat (ie. both seats are empty) then i saw the one right in front of teachers table. i dont like sitting in front but since it's the only empty one, i sat there. then crystal came and sat next to me. i think the most epic thing is that i never knew she was the girl who sat next to me until i read her blog x.x yea fail me.

I was a bit sad cos i couldnt really get close to the class. Then on like day3, my mum suddenly told me she was going to bring me to nygh for an interview. i cried. i don't know why, for those few days i felt so left out but when my mum told me abt it, i just burst into tears. i rmb my mum telling me it was for my own good and she said she'd give me anything i want if i get in. but somehow that made me cry more. then at nygh, i screwed the interview. partially because i know practically nothing abt nygh (i was day-dreaming during nygh open house .__.) and some part of me just wanted me to stay in dhs. in the end, i wasnt accepted.

now... i don't know. my life's changed a lot every since school started. sometimes i feel uber happy. sometimes i feel screwed up cos of hw. sometimes i still feel lonely. but sometimes i ask myself what would happen if i really got into nygh. okay one thing i know for sure is that i'd still be pure-minded. apart from that, i'd probably would never know these fun and awesome people of 1e. im actually very grateful of being in 1e. thank you 1e for the good memories :') ILY 1E♥